James Project of Latin America

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The day came to pass the baton on to the new administrators of the James Project of Latin America (JPoLA). I felt like I was being caught up in a dream as we moved through the simple ceremony. Our team, the house parents, and the children of the Project knew the Applegates, and they readily accepted them as CEOs. I marveled at the ease everything moved forward.

However, concerns and questions began flying in my mind. I sought the Lord about my future. He had called me to Guatemala, and after fourteen years of ministry, I wondered if I should stay or move elsewhere. When I left Montana to come to Guatemala, I made a permanent move. I closed the door behind me by selling or giving everything away. I had no home. Now I questioned if I should go to another location.

I struggled with my thoughts, waiting for the Lord to show me what my next venture would be. I tried to focus on the idea that I didn’t have to go to the office every day. I could finally live my dream. I could sleep in as long as I wanted, have a leisurely morning, enjoy my coffee, and have a long devotional time—in my pajamas. That’s not what happened. My body wouldn’t cooperate, and I woke up at 5:00 a.m., leaving me with a full day of wondering what to do with myself.

I felt an impression in my spirit that I wasn’t finished in Monjas or at the orphanage yet. People around me stated the hope that I would remain. They felt that the founder still had a significant role to play. I didn’t know what that meant, but I trusted that the Lord would reveal His plan to me soon.

Gradually, I adjusted to the new circumstances of my life and continued living among the people I loved. Opportunities for volunteer work opened up, and I became involved without having to carry the stress of an administrator.

One afternoon, a girl who had lived in the orphanage for ten years came to my house and frantically said, “Mama Carroll, I don’t like who I am, and I want to change. Please help me.”

This request was quite a tall order, but I knew Who would be able to help her with the transformation. I needed to be in tune with the Lord’s leading and draw upon the teaching I received through healing ministry courses. Another door had opened for ministry, and I took her through counseling sessions. I became available for ministry with other girls too.Photo-0038_2

When I reflected how the hand of God had moved to bring together this place of refuge for children and a help for widows, I stood amazed. He entrusted us with a great responsibility for these lives even when we did not know how to accomplish such a task. He gave us what we needed when we needed it. I read the Scriptures and a message stood out to me: “I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever: with my mouth [pen] will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations” (Psalm 89:1). Through my experiences, I could share with others how God took a design and turned it into a ministry to help hundreds of hurting children. I began to write a memoir of my involvement in one of God’s grand plans.

God had a plan for me to continue at James Project of Latin America and showed me a path to follow. My heart is full because I am close to my baby and involved in the lives of these precious children.

Shoes of the Directors

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Twelve years of being the directors of James Project of Latin America (JPoLA) had passed when Joanne and I faced a big question. What would we do if we couldn’t stay in Guatemala? Who would fill the shoes of the directors and continue with the plans for the Project? We both had physical issues that made us take a hard look at some future plans. We wanted to be ahead of the game and have lots of time for making such an enormous decision.

We had invested our lives during the past years, and the thought of turning our baby over to someone else was like a mother looking for another family to adopt her child. Letting go would not be easy, but we realistically had to think in terms that someday we needed to pass on the baton. Lord, only you know who would carry the vision in their hearts and love the children as we do. Prepare our minds and hearts for when the time comes to let go.

The fact that we had time to scope out options stood in our favor. The plans included much prayer and time seeking the perfect couple. We had no reason to act immediately and felt comfortable in moving forward slowly. For me, letting go hung out in the future somewhere, but I wanted to be prepared for when the time came.

I started thinking about my reaction when someone did step in to do what I had been doing over the years. Would I feel jealousy, resentment, want control, or would I feel peace and willingly give over the reins? I prayed it would be the latter, and I felt thankful that I had time to sort all of this out before that day came.

Within the first year of discussing various options for our replacement, we landed upon a couple who stood out in compassion, ability, and love for the children. They wanted to serve with the Lord in the JPoLA ministry.

I first met the Applegates at the dedication of the property when they came to Shadow with a short-term mission team. From that time on, they communicated with us and expressed their heart’s desire to do anything they could to help. They came at least once a year and sponsored many children in the orphanage. Standing out as potential leaders, we contacted them with the idea of being our replacements in the administration.

After an explanation of what we expected and an outline of what the duties looked like, we waited in anticipation. Lord, is this the couple you want in the administration of your Project? The Applegates gave a surprising response of, “We thought you’d never ask. We’ve wanted to be a part of this for a long time.” My heart soared.

It took a year for the Applegates to arrive at the Project ready for action. I’ll never forget the mix of emotions I felt when I looked into my empty office and silently said goodbye. It felt even stranger when I looked into my room, and somebody else had taken over. I found the adjustment easier than I had anticipated but did experience days of difficulty. I saw the Applegates in operation and thanked the Lord for picking the perfect couple to fill the shoes of the directors and to oversee the lives of precious children. The Lord had prepared my heart.

Private School

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After the first week at a specially selected private school, I could see a reluctance in the girls when time came to go to class. Something had them stirred up, and I waited for a storm cloud to burst. The following week, Leti* came in with red eyes and a pout. We needed to have a visit.

“Leti, sit here, and tell me why you are upset.”

Slow at getting started, Leti explained, “I don’t want to go back to school. The kids make fun of me because I’m in the baby class.”

Leti’s friend joined the conversation and added, “Yeah, the kids make fun of all of us because we live in an orphanage. The teachers don’t do anything to stop it. Nobody wants to be our friend.”

Oh my! The school year could go painfully on forever if something didn’t change. I prayed for the Lord’s intervention.

Joanne and I had checked out this well-known private school. The director impressed us with the concern she showed for the girls and her promises to help them in any way possible. Now we needed another visit with her to find a solution and ease the agony the girls felt. The director showed her compassion for the children and said she would handle the situation.

I sighed deeply, not realizing how angry I felt about the degrading words aimed at my girls. Thank you, Lord, for the love you have for these children. We don’t know what the director told the other teachers or students after our meeting, but from the chitchat of the girls, it appeared life at school had improved. All except for Leti.

In Guatemala, a student needs a certificate to show the completion of a grade before she is allowed to go into the next grade. This law worked against some of the girls in the Home because several of them had never attended school. Because of the law, twelve-year-old Leti sat in humiliation with the first graders. This bothered us until one day Joanne said she had a solution.

Before coming to Guatemala as a missionary, Joanne and her husband started a private school in Alaska. “How hard can it be to start our school here? I have contacts through Associated Christian Schools International and with a knowledgeable attorney. We can have a place for these kids to get an education without the hassles they now face.”

IMG_1648Bursting with the news, we told the girls about our plans, hoping it would ease their misery for the rest of the school year. Joanne went into action and found a compassionate couple to head up the school. (This faithful couple continues to serve as directors today.) They drew the girls to them with magnetic force. Donors from the States stepped forward to help with the expenses. Papers went to the authorities, and when approved, we sought a place for Liberty Christian School.

We rented a little house, and the girls pitched in with full energy to make it ready for their school. I saw a blend of pride, excitement, and hope as they applied paint to the filthy walls. Posters, pictures, and other wall decorations brought out a charm that tickled me as a IMG_0335former teacher. Then the big day came.

Dressed in cranberry-red plaid uniforms and full of giggles, the girls stepped into a new beginning in their educational program. Liberty Christian School was their school, and the desire for academic success rose in this private school. Leti didn’t come home with a smile on her face every day, but she did look forward to sitting with the other girls while doing her grade-appropriate work.

*Name has been changed.

Medical History

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Dear Reader,

The posts I have on my blog are part to the memoir that I’m writing. The intention is to cover a twelve-year span of life at Shadow of HIs Wings. I’m going to move out of that time-frame and tell you what is going on in my life today, and why you will not be reading a memoir post.

On July 11 I flew to my daughter Stacie’s home in Missouri with plans to drive with her family to Tennessee and meet up with my other children and grandchildren. It was our first family reunion in five years, and I could hardly wait to see those grandchildren.

The night before the Tennessee trip, I felt chills/fever kicking in. I went to bed and had the most horrible night ever. When my daughter woke me up in the morning, I told her they would need to go without me. Like that was going to happen with Stacie around. Because the state of my health, she took me directly to the ER at Cox Hospital. With a temp of over 103, and other vitals out of the normal range, they did test after test and put lots of goodies in the IV. They let me go home with an open invitation for admission if I regressed. No way! I did find out that Larry and Megan went on to Tennessee, and Stacie chose to stay and doctor me. By Tuesday, I needed help, so back to the hospital we went.

This is where I will cut the story short. The tests showed that I had some sort of tropical virus. The doctor on my case had experience with some of these in his ministry to Jamaica. When he learned that I lived in an area where there were lots of Dengue and Chicungunya cases, he determined I would stay in the hospital, because I could possibly be a carrier of a virus that would affect others. No complaints from me. The state of sickness that took me under soon became the worst I’d ever experienced in my entire life. My stay included days and nights of blood withdrawals for tests, antibiotic upon antibiotic (I also had a UTI), and medication by the handfull.

Most of you know my breathing history, and I entered the hospital with struggles in that area. The oxygen level would drop down while I lay there. Part of the problem was that I developed pneumonia and the extra fluid caused problems. Time to add a bit of excitement in my life—a diuretic and a stool softener. I made hourly trips to the bathroom, which were stressful, but a system developed, and Stacie kept busy.

The doctor decided I had Dengue fever because of the issues he saw in my blood. I think he felt relieved that I didn’t contract this in the US, and by the time they let me go from the hospital, I wouldn’t be a threat. They waited on those test results, but he said, “By the time we know what virus you have, you’ll be well, and it’s not going to make any difference in our treatments.”

My faithful daughter stayed with me every day from early morning to evening. I’ll probably never know why this chapter had to be in my life book, but I do know that God had me covered the whole time. I was in the best place for such medical care. The doctor had his jungle experiences to help evaluate the situation rather than the medical book insights only.

Then I took the step and asked when I could go home, and the answer came clearly: when I felt I could function on my own. I put in my request, and Stacie brought me home Wednesday. The breathing is much better, and I feel my lungs are stronger.

Thanks to the many of you who have prayed for me. That prayer covering is important. At my age and medical history, the healing process takes longer, but I’m on the path and with the grace of God, I will make the goal. Meanwhile, I’m in the comforts of Stacie’s home with plans to return to Guatemala in a couple of weeks.