Monthly Archives: June 2016

Free From Fear: Part 2

Free From Fear: Part 1

IMG_1567Stephani* needed to tell me what gripped her mind. She refused to communicate with others and looked like a scared refugee when she sat in class with the other girls. Lord, what caused these emotional issues? I probed and finally turned to Colossians 2:15 in my Bible and read to her how Jesus triumphed over Satan and disarmed all demonic powers and authorities at His crucifixion and resurrection.

“He stripped them of their power to hold people captive against their will.” Then I had her read it and tell me what it meant. She responded that she had victory through Jesus. Those were the words I wanted to hear, and it secured another step in the process of setting her free from fear. We prayed more, and the power of the words she read began working inside of her. Stephani* then took authority over the enemy’s messing with her mind.

With more coaxing, she confessed, “Mama Carroll, I don’t want you or anybody to hate me. I’m a bad person, and I don’t know how anybody can forgive me for all the awful things I’ve done.”

I could see her confession included herself. So many times I’ve been able to forgive others but couldn’t bring myself into the equation. That horrible feeling consumed me, and yet the Lord included me in the line of forgiveness.  Lord, please open Stephani’s eyes so that she can see that love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).

Mary Magdalene came to mind, so back to the Bible we went. I shared how the love of the Lord changed this prostitute’s life, because Jesus forgave her. I explained that Mary had been forced into her lifestyle. “She sold herself out of choice because of tough situations, but she came to the Lord for forgiveness through His unconditional love. They became close friends, and she served with Him and His followers. He forgives you, and so do all of us. We all have areas of shame in our pasts, but we are no longer bound to them.”

“You feel a fear of what others think, but that is a deception of the enemy. You are surrounded by people who love you for who you are: a beautiful, kind, and gracious young lady. What happened in the past is nailed to the cross of Jesus, and you can leave it in the past.”

Stephani lifted her head with a determined look on her face. That look stirred hope in me that she understood freedom awaited her. We continued to pray for her healing and acceptance of forgiveness.

We face times when we are unable to forgive ourselves, but reaching that level needs to be obtained to be fully healed. Forgiveness is the key to healing: the door needs to open and the garbage cleaned out.  Later that evening I saw breakthrough as Stephani talked and laughed with some of the other girls. She experienced a new joy in her life by being set free from fear.

*Name has been changed.

Free From Fear: Part 1

Most of the girls who come to us have been sexually abused and live with scars on their hearts and minds. Our desire is to bring healing through counseling, love, and prayer. Each girl’s healing process is different, but one issue seems to be common: each child takes the guilt upon herself for what has been inflicted by others.

Stephani* cried in class, chewed her nails until they bled, and sat with her head on the desk, refusing to participate in class. The directors of the school contacted me with the concern that our girl had hit bottom. Nothing changed after their talks with her, and they asked me to step in for some spiritual intervention. Stephani had left her sinful life, but the enemy still had a hold on her, and she needed to be set free from fear.

IMG_0003I knew some of the pain Stephani felt because she lived with me. She didn’t know I had been seeking the Lord for ways I could help her. The time had come for serious sessions of counsel. Finding the cause isn’t the tricky part. It’s untangling all of the thoughts and feelings, besides working through the pain to see healing. I only had a few counseling courses, and would be considered an amateur, but I knew the Lord could heal her despite what I lacked. He would be my guide, and His promise to give me wisdom when I needed it brought me comfort.

“Stephani, you need to talk to me,” I said, as I lifted her chin so I could look into her eyes.

Her eyes flashed, and I could see darkness. “Honey, tell me what you are feeling.”

Moving her head down again, she mumbled, “I can’t.”

“Are you afraid of something?” I asked.

When she nodded, I took her face between my hands and gently pushed her bushy hair out of her face. “You do not have to be afraid, and I want to pray for that now. Are you okay with me praying?”

She nodded again and surprised me by not hiding her face. I prayed against any spirit of fear and spoke the promise from the Bible that God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear. After the simple prayer, I saw even more resistance and knew we entered the battle. We continued the process to set her free from fear as I sought the Lord for what we needed to do next.

*Name has been changed.

Pass It On

There’s a movement called Pass It On where someone pays for the items of a person behind them at the checkout stand or a fast-food diner. I experienced this in the airport when I went to a restaurant. I ordered my meal, and when I asked for the check, the waitress told me that it had been covered. I didn’t owe anything. I’m sure I had a question mark on my forehead because she slowly explained that she had paid the bill and encouraged me to pass it on. I felt appreciative of the gift, and my thoughts propelled back to a time when I had such an opportunity.

A couple in our ministry at Shadow of His Wings Orphanage had a beat-up junker that they used to make the three hour trip to the City and back. Having their three children with them, and knowing their stories of breakdowns, my concern for their safety deepened. Lord, how can I help these people? The Lord answered that question.

I made frequent trips to Guatemala City with girls from the orphanage, and when I heard about a the sale of a newer car than mine, I decided to look into it. The owner, a relative of a staff worker, lived in the next town over, which made it easy to check it out. The owner bought the Toyota Corona from the US through another relative who worked with a Toyota dealer, making the idea more lucrative. Could I make such a purchase?

Looking at my funds and meager savings, I decided to take the plunge. Meanwhile, I looked at my other car and pondered the suggestions of selling it and using that money for the new car. But the Lord led me in the direction of the couple needing reliable transportation. I felt giddy as I developed a plan.

Later that month, we celebrated the staff Christmas party at my house. I gave the last gift to Jorge.* He patiently opened the box and pulled out a newspaper, a piece of brick, more newspaper, and then his body froze when he saw car keys lying on a card. Jorge recognized the keys because he had driven my car. His lips quivered, and tears filled his eyes as they traveled back and forth from me to the box.

“What is it?” asked one of the guests.

Jorge’s wife hurried over, looked in the box, and shouted, “Oh, oh!” She grabbed me sobbing as she blubbered thank-yous over and over.

Jorge gently took the keys in his hand and sauntered over to thank me, but words seemed locked up in his mouth. This is probably the only time in history when this guy remained speechless. Everybody cried along with them.

“This is your gift from the Lord. He provided another car for me, and He wants you to have this one.” While giving me a half-hug, the shaking in Jorge lessened, but his heart hammered like a runner’s after a 50-yard dash.

I had insight into why we call our Lord the Great Gift Giver. The overwhelming delight in watching the receiver and sharing such intense love makes a person want to give everything away. It’s not about me but about listening to the Lord because we can all be instruments of Pass It On. Being a recipient is a blessing, but being a partner with the Lord in giving can provide a heart-bursting experience.

*Name has been changed.

Better Medical Care

http://www.livingundertheshadowofhiswings.com/2016/05/the-hospital-decision/

My heart leaped when I saw my two daughters walk into the Guatemalan hospital room. Only God could bring all their plans together. They lived in different states and had jobs, so meeting in Dallas to fly to Guatemala on short notice took some maneuvering. A dear Guatemalan family opened their home and provided the necessary translation and transportation for them. With God’s hand upon me, we flew home, for better medical care, the day after the hospital released me.
I sat on the plane, in a medicated state, breathing refreshing oxygen and sitting with my helpful children. I felt like I had a little bit of heaven right there with me, and I saw the unfolding of my desire to return home. I didn’t realize I would wake up to a reality that would bring another change into my world.

Stacie and I met friends at the airport who hustled us to the emergency room. Dr. Rodriquez, my doctor in Guatemala, suspected I had three blood clots and had me on a blood thinner. That meant I needed continued treatment. I had the medication with me, but the orders were to get to the hospital. He had given me the test results, and armed with copies of the X-rays and CAT scan, I obediently delivered all of these to the medical people in the hospital, only to discover that they meant nothing. These people wanted their own exam results. They didn’t see any clots, and the 88 percent oxygen level didn’t meet the standard 86 percent required for admittance. By this time, I wanted to shout hallelujah and climb into a cozy bed at my daughter’s house.

The next day, I contacted a doctor friend from Arkansas and gave him an update. He commented that clots are easy to define, and with the hundreds of people praying for me, I had seen a miracle in my body. I then checked in with the primary care physician, who gave me more medication and inhalers, noting that I needed appointments with the sinus, lung, and allergy specialists. From there my health turned downward.

Scheduling the medical appointments seemed to take forever, and I couldn’t see the lung specialist for two months. My frantic call to the primary care doctor got me in a month sooner. While waiting in the office of the allergist, my thoughts returned to my care in the Guatemalan hospital. Seeing specialists and testing moved at a faster pace than what I saw happening here.

I remembered the nurse, carrying a tray, came in and checked my blood pressure and pulse. I watched closely as she hung a bag of solution next to the sugar water and inserted the syringe into the IV tube. “What medication is that?” I asked, feeling a coolness as the new liquid entered my body.

“This is the antibiotic azithromycin,” she replied, as she adjusted the drip.

She probably hadn’t made it out of the doorway before I fell back to sleep, only to wake up fifteen minutes later to a horrible burning pain in my hand where the needle lay under layers of tape. I waited ten more minutes and then pressed the help button.

A different nurse rushed in and listened to my description of the burning pain. I asked her what caused the fire in my hand and up the arm. “If the drip is set too fast with an antibiotic, it will feel like it is burning. I will slow it down, and the pain will subside. Call me if it is still hurting you.”

I thanked the nurse and watched the slower drip. Within another fifteen minutes, the pain subsided. It comforted me to know what caused the burning and that the nurse knew what to do about it.

All of the medical people in Guatemala gave me good medical care. I felt peace in the hospital and that the people there held my care as important. In the depths of my fears, the Lord responded to me with His unconditional love.

My ten-minute visits with the doctors here in the States showed me that I was only a statistic to them, and they commented that I had to learn to live with my medical problems. These doctors only had the reports of tests and the few bits of information I could give in the short few minutes with each one. I thought of Dr. Rodriquez in Guatemala and the times he mentioned doing research with my situation. He discussed my health status with the other doctors who got called into my case. Our time in his office usually ended after an hour and included an extensive discussion about the medication possibilities of what might work best.

The Lord patiently showed me something that changed my whole perspective on my health issues. He would take care of me even in a developing country. I had taken the “bull by the horns” thinking that I had to go back to the States for better medical care, only to find that I had the best care in Guatemala City.