Author Archives: Carroll

Free From Fear: Part 1

Most of the girls who come to us have been sexually abused and live with scars on their hearts and minds. Our desire is to bring healing through counseling, love, and prayer. Each girl’s healing process is different, but one issue seems to be common: each child takes the guilt upon herself for what has been inflicted by others.

Stephani* cried in class, chewed her nails until they bled, and sat with her head on the desk, refusing to participate in class. The directors of the school contacted me with the concern that our girl had hit bottom. Nothing changed after their talks with her, and they asked me to step in for some spiritual intervention. Stephani had left her sinful life, but the enemy still had a hold on her, and she needed to be set free from fear.

IMG_0003I knew some of the pain Stephani felt because she lived with me. She didn’t know I had been seeking the Lord for ways I could help her. The time had come for serious sessions of counsel. Finding the cause isn’t the tricky part. It’s untangling all of the thoughts and feelings, besides working through the pain to see healing. I only had a few counseling courses, and would be considered an amateur, but I knew the Lord could heal her despite what I lacked. He would be my guide, and His promise to give me wisdom when I needed it brought me comfort.

“Stephani, you need to talk to me,” I said, as I lifted her chin so I could look into her eyes.

Her eyes flashed, and I could see darkness. “Honey, tell me what you are feeling.”

Moving her head down again, she mumbled, “I can’t.”

“Are you afraid of something?” I asked.

When she nodded, I took her face between my hands and gently pushed her bushy hair out of her face. “You do not have to be afraid, and I want to pray for that now. Are you okay with me praying?”

She nodded again and surprised me by not hiding her face. I prayed against any spirit of fear and spoke the promise from the Bible that God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear. After the simple prayer, I saw even more resistance and knew we entered the battle. We continued the process to set her free from fear as I sought the Lord for what we needed to do next.

*Name has been changed.

Pass It On

There’s a movement called Pass It On where someone pays for the items of a person behind them at the checkout stand or a fast-food diner. I experienced this in the airport when I went to a restaurant. I ordered my meal, and when I asked for the check, the waitress told me that it had been covered. I didn’t owe anything. I’m sure I had a question mark on my forehead because she slowly explained that she had paid the bill and encouraged me to pass it on. I felt appreciative of the gift, and my thoughts propelled back to a time when I had such an opportunity.

A couple in our ministry at Shadow of His Wings Orphanage had a beat-up junker that they used to make the three hour trip to the City and back. Having their three children with them, and knowing their stories of breakdowns, my concern for their safety deepened. Lord, how can I help these people? The Lord answered that question.

I made frequent trips to Guatemala City with girls from the orphanage, and when I heard about a the sale of a newer car than mine, I decided to look into it. The owner, a relative of a staff worker, lived in the next town over, which made it easy to check it out. The owner bought the Toyota Corona from the US through another relative who worked with a Toyota dealer, making the idea more lucrative. Could I make such a purchase?

Looking at my funds and meager savings, I decided to take the plunge. Meanwhile, I looked at my other car and pondered the suggestions of selling it and using that money for the new car. But the Lord led me in the direction of the couple needing reliable transportation. I felt giddy as I developed a plan.

Later that month, we celebrated the staff Christmas party at my house. I gave the last gift to Jorge.* He patiently opened the box and pulled out a newspaper, a piece of brick, more newspaper, and then his body froze when he saw car keys lying on a card. Jorge recognized the keys because he had driven my car. His lips quivered, and tears filled his eyes as they traveled back and forth from me to the box.

“What is it?” asked one of the guests.

Jorge’s wife hurried over, looked in the box, and shouted, “Oh, oh!” She grabbed me sobbing as she blubbered thank-yous over and over.

Jorge gently took the keys in his hand and sauntered over to thank me, but words seemed locked up in his mouth. This is probably the only time in history when this guy remained speechless. Everybody cried along with them.

“This is your gift from the Lord. He provided another car for me, and He wants you to have this one.” While giving me a half-hug, the shaking in Jorge lessened, but his heart hammered like a runner’s after a 50-yard dash.

I had insight into why we call our Lord the Great Gift Giver. The overwhelming delight in watching the receiver and sharing such intense love makes a person want to give everything away. It’s not about me but about listening to the Lord because we can all be instruments of Pass It On. Being a recipient is a blessing, but being a partner with the Lord in giving can provide a heart-bursting experience.

*Name has been changed.

Better Medical Care

http://www.livingundertheshadowofhiswings.com/2016/05/the-hospital-decision/

My heart leaped when I saw my two daughters walk into the Guatemalan hospital room. Only God could bring all their plans together. They lived in different states and had jobs, so meeting in Dallas to fly to Guatemala on short notice took some maneuvering. A dear Guatemalan family opened their home and provided the necessary translation and transportation for them. With God’s hand upon me, we flew home, for better medical care, the day after the hospital released me.
I sat on the plane, in a medicated state, breathing refreshing oxygen and sitting with my helpful children. I felt like I had a little bit of heaven right there with me, and I saw the unfolding of my desire to return home. I didn’t realize I would wake up to a reality that would bring another change into my world.

Stacie and I met friends at the airport who hustled us to the emergency room. Dr. Rodriquez, my doctor in Guatemala, suspected I had three blood clots and had me on a blood thinner. That meant I needed continued treatment. I had the medication with me, but the orders were to get to the hospital. He had given me the test results, and armed with copies of the X-rays and CAT scan, I obediently delivered all of these to the medical people in the hospital, only to discover that they meant nothing. These people wanted their own exam results. They didn’t see any clots, and the 88 percent oxygen level didn’t meet the standard 86 percent required for admittance. By this time, I wanted to shout hallelujah and climb into a cozy bed at my daughter’s house.

The next day, I contacted a doctor friend from Arkansas and gave him an update. He commented that clots are easy to define, and with the hundreds of people praying for me, I had seen a miracle in my body. I then checked in with the primary care physician, who gave me more medication and inhalers, noting that I needed appointments with the sinus, lung, and allergy specialists. From there my health turned downward.

Scheduling the medical appointments seemed to take forever, and I couldn’t see the lung specialist for two months. My frantic call to the primary care doctor got me in a month sooner. While waiting in the office of the allergist, my thoughts returned to my care in the Guatemalan hospital. Seeing specialists and testing moved at a faster pace than what I saw happening here.

I remembered the nurse, carrying a tray, came in and checked my blood pressure and pulse. I watched closely as she hung a bag of solution next to the sugar water and inserted the syringe into the IV tube. “What medication is that?” I asked, feeling a coolness as the new liquid entered my body.

“This is the antibiotic azithromycin,” she replied, as she adjusted the drip.

She probably hadn’t made it out of the doorway before I fell back to sleep, only to wake up fifteen minutes later to a horrible burning pain in my hand where the needle lay under layers of tape. I waited ten more minutes and then pressed the help button.

A different nurse rushed in and listened to my description of the burning pain. I asked her what caused the fire in my hand and up the arm. “If the drip is set too fast with an antibiotic, it will feel like it is burning. I will slow it down, and the pain will subside. Call me if it is still hurting you.”

I thanked the nurse and watched the slower drip. Within another fifteen minutes, the pain subsided. It comforted me to know what caused the burning and that the nurse knew what to do about it.

All of the medical people in Guatemala gave me good medical care. I felt peace in the hospital and that the people there held my care as important. In the depths of my fears, the Lord responded to me with His unconditional love.

My ten-minute visits with the doctors here in the States showed me that I was only a statistic to them, and they commented that I had to learn to live with my medical problems. These doctors only had the reports of tests and the few bits of information I could give in the short few minutes with each one. I thought of Dr. Rodriquez in Guatemala and the times he mentioned doing research with my situation. He discussed my health status with the other doctors who got called into my case. Our time in his office usually ended after an hour and included an extensive discussion about the medication possibilities of what might work best.

The Lord patiently showed me something that changed my whole perspective on my health issues. He would take care of me even in a developing country. I had taken the “bull by the horns” thinking that I had to go back to the States for better medical care, only to find that I had the best care in Guatemala City.

The Hospital Decision

Dr. Rodriquez’s words created a lightning strike to my heart. “You will not make it back to Monjas, and you need to check into the hospital immediately.” I could handle the hospital part if I lived in the States, but being in a third-world country brought up major concerns. I knew of stories from missionaries that I based my thoughts upon, and I could hear the warnings in my head, yet it seemed the hospital decision had already been made.

With tears, I looked at Vanessa, who graciously brought me to the City, for any input she had and caught her nods. I had one choice if I wanted to live, and I didn’t want to verbalize it. My mind accelerated in a different direction as the doctor examined me.

One of the hardest times missionaries can face happens when there are physical issues and decisions about medical treatment need to be made. One such unexpected time happened to me after several bouts of sinus infections, pneumonia, and bronchitis. I had coughing episodes that lasted for an hour, leaving me totally wiped out with breathing difficulties. I had found a Guatemalan respiratory specialist who had been trained in New Orleans and spoke perfect English. I assured myself that with the right medication, I would rise up in health and continue my work at James Project of Latin America. This was my plan for this visit, until the doctor popped my bubble with the hospital idea.

On this particular day, I had traveled the three hours for an appointment, thanking the Lord that I did not have to drive. I had a coughing fit before the appointment, where I called upon the Lord to help me breathe. At the doctor’s office, I took a step up the stairs, waited, and then took another step until I made it to his floor. That feat did me in and stirred up more coughing. The doctor could see my true health situation as he evaluated treatment.

During the exam, I described a pain I had behind the ribs under my left breast. Dr. Rodriquez suspected a blood clot as the reason for the pain and said I needed to be on an anticoagulant. After checking out my peak oxygen flow, oxygen level, blood pressure, and pulse, the doctor sternly said I needed to get to the emergency room. He proceeded to list the exams I would need to help with the decision for treatment. There would be X-rays, cat scans, blood tests, nuclear solution testing, and allergy testing. As he listed each test, it furthered my resolve to speak the words in my head as panic gripped my heart.

“I just want to go home,” I whispered. “Please help me get home.”

The doctor’s head jerked around to catch what I said. I continued with my pleading that I wanted to go back to the States. “Can you get me well enough to travel back to Missouri?”

Frowning, the doctor said he could stabilize me in seventy-two hours for travel. Obediently, I entered the hospital and helping hands put me on the portable bed. They placed an oxygen mask snug on my face, and I started breathing air with some substance to it. “Oh my goodness!” I said. “I feel differently breathing real oxygen. I will take it any day over gold and riches. I can’t believe how much better I feel.” Vanessa smiled as she listened to my babbling and watched the attendants prepare me for a hospital room.

God’s soothing presence settled upon me while I laid in the hospital bed. The nurses began to prepare for the many tests needed. Vanessa made stateside phone calls to inform my family of the situation, and within hours, they decided to come and travel with me to the States after the hospital release.

With my fears abated, I realized that God had me covered and sent the help I needed. After making the hospital decision and staying there for three days felt the same as in the States except for a different language that echoed in the halls. I received professional care and responded to the treatment. I proceeded in the lifelong walk of learning to trust in the Lord. He said He would never leave me nor forsake me and that He knew my needs and would act accordingly. I think I mentioned before that I’m a slow learner.