Transition: Part 2

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Transition: Part 1

I couldn’t believe it would take persuading our older girls to experience the freedom found in making the transition by living in a house in Monjas. I thought everyone would grab hold of the idea, but instead, we saw a resistance because of fears. We needed to nudge them out of the nest. Lord, please break off the fear that has risen in these girls’ hearts. Help them to feel at peace with these changes in their lives.

We didn’t find a perfect house in our small town, but the one we found would work for the seven girls. I felt comfortable that they would live two blocks from me and be close for any emergencies. Moving day came, and the girls began to feel more relaxed with living in town instead of the country.

198453_1925761872064_1482687191_2200626_1808604_n“Yes, girls, you can go to the tienda, but you need to let the tios (aunt and uncle) know before you leave.” I laughed at the many trips they made to the store without making a purchase, just because they could. Some of the girls took the privileges and ran with them, and others wouldn’t step out the door.

Within two weeks, the complaints began. The tios wanted to control the girls instead of allowing them some free rein. They thought that if the girls made too many bad choices, it would reflect upon them. They falsely believed that without control, their jobs could be lost. The girls resented the iron grip upon them, and signs of rebellion popped up, with disrespect from both sides.

My head spun with what needed to be done to bring balance to this newly formed family. Joanne and I had a long talk with the tios, and we told them that the girls might not always make right decisions. The girls would learn from the consequences that came with those decisions as part of their learning experience.

“When growing up did you make the right decision every time? I sure didn’t, and I learned more from my bad choices than I did from the good ones. You will not be held responsible for such decisions,” Joanne explained.

At our meeting with the girls, we challenged them by asking for one negative and one positive comment about living in Casa Magdalena. It broke my heart to see the tears and hear of the hurts residing inside them. Pride seemed to rule, and nobody can make a person forgive another, but these girls asked to be forgiven for their wrongs.

I thought we would see the tide move in a positive direction, but that did not happen, and we landed on square one again. The tios, with a locked-in mentality of controlling parents, couldn’t let go. Lord, why is this important goal so hard to pull together?

We counseled with the tios and discussed the situation with others for any source of wisdom. We came to the conclusion that we should find another couple who could be counselors for the girls. The Lord had already touched the hearts of a couple, who came to us saying they wanted to work in this position. I wanted them to repeat their words to make sure I heard correctly. The kids already loved this couple as directors and teachers at the school. We said yes, and the transition program took off with only a few adjustments. Casa Magdalena, named after Mary Magdalene in the Bible, became an important component in the plans for the older girls who reside at Shadow of His Wings Orphanage.

Transition: Part 1

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As the girls got older, it became apparent that our present program for them needed to change. At eighteen, a girl could walk out the gate if she desired to leave the orphanage. Only a handful of them followed through with this legal right, and the population of older girls continued to grow. These girls needed to transition from children to functioning adults in a country with limited opportunities in every area of life. We faced the responsibility to set the scene for that to happen. Oh, Lord, only you can make it possible.

I couldn’t imagine any of them living on their own because they didn’t even know about budgets, how to pay the electric bill or what it entailed in renting a house. Some of these girls confessed to the fear they felt when allowed to go into Monjas for shopping. No way would they ride a chicken bus after hearing the stories of the violence that took place on the buses. Something had to be done to prepare these girls for the future outside of Shadow’s gates. Still being part of Shadow family, they needed to know about independent living. Time to put our heads together and figure out the best way for this to happen in a developing country. Our experiences in the States did little to help us with a transition program.

At the planning, we discussed what we wanted to see happen in their lives. Many of these girls had limited shopping experiences in the supermarket, and many didn’t know how to count out money. I remembered taking them to HiperPaiz and having them hang onto my arm as if they could be kidnapped at any moment. They lived protective lives in Shadow and needed to experience the outside world but in a safe way. That meant we needed to find a house in Monjas for these girls to live out what they needed to learn.

At nineteen or twenty, the girls didn’t need a parent hovering over them but someone to guide and counsel when needed. We also wanted a male figure in the house for the protection of the girls. The wheels turned, and we developed an outline for the future.

Lord fill us with Your wisdom. We need Your plan. Having raised four children, I could apply what I knew, but we lived in a culture that had obstacles for finding housing and jobs. After much discussion, we piloted the transition program for girls who turned seventeen. The thought excited me that we could continue in the lives of these girls teaching them skills and seeing major differences in lives.

SAM_2566Joanne and I called a meeting to share the idea with the girls seventeen or older. “Girls it is time for you to have a life outside the walls of Shadow and learn how the adult population functions. We are going to move you into a house in Monjas, so you can learn how to shop, how to pay the electric bill, how to budget money, purchase food items, how to cook and many other activities that you will be required to do when you leave the orphanage. You will have an aunt and uncle living with you to help with the many decisions and choices you will be making. They will be there to guide you.”

Surprisingly, I heard groans. “We don’t want to leave our family or our house parents,” said Lil.

“You will still be connected with your family just as the young people in the States do when they leave home. You will come here for visits, go to church services together, come for important occasions, and can have contact by phone when you can’t come for a visit,” assured Joanne.

I saw heads shaking and knew they didn’t want to leave the orphanage because of fear. I thought of the mother eagle who booted the youngsters out of the nest when it came time to fly. If they resisted, out they went with no other option but to flap those wings. Our young ladies would be encouraged to flap their wings as they followed the transition plan.

Father-Daughter Reunion

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Our group gathered for prayer, and I could hear loud sniffling. My eyes scanned the girls, stopping on the new ten-year-old cutie. I stepped over and put my arm around her in a reassuring hug.

“I want to find my daddy. Please pray with me,” Najera choked out.

The girls took the cue and gathered around her, praying for a common request that one of the biological parents would be found. Najera’s round puppy-dog eyes looked up at me for encouragement. “Oh, honey, God hears our prayers, and we can trust Him for the answer. He knows what is best for us.” My words brought a smile, but I wondered how much she accepted in her small heart. I added to my prayers that there would be healing for this little gal, knowing how rare it is to locate a parent.

Najera* lost her mother in a bus accident four years before entering Shadow. She had been passed on to a neighbor and ended up in the court for placement in an orphanage. Najera told us about her father and cried out for us to find him, but with only a name, a search would be useless.

Najera leaned into the power of prayer and faithfully sought the Lord on behalf of her father. We joined her, wanting God’s will for her life and healing in her heart.

IMG_1930A year passed, and we received a call from the court saying that a man claiming to be Najera’s father had called. The woman who had cared for Najera after the death of her mother contacted Julio*, asking for permission to adopt her. Julio had been on a hunt for Najera ever since he had heard that his ex-wife had been killed. He had come up short in finding any information about Najera’s location until now. The lady at the court told him how to contact us, and Julio made the call to see his daughter. We explained to him the legal procedures he needed to take through the court system, including getting permission from the judge.

Meanwhile, my heart did acrobatics at the thought of Najera reuniting with her father. Questions pummeled my mind as to how he lost track of his only child. I had many doubts, even though we saw the answer to our many prayers. Lord, please let this man be a true father who is full of love for his daughter. I cringed at the thought of him marching in to be her father but instead being the type of person who abused his children. Lord, if this is not your will for Najera, please close the door. I had grave concerns, and my prayers continued on Najera’s behalf.

We kept the information undisclosed to Najera while the court did their investigation to check out Julio and IMG_1931confirm his biological claims. It turned out that Julio had lived and worked in the same area as Shadow of His Wings Orphanage for the last four years. We passed by his workplace frequently and didn’t know that the target of Najera’s prayers labored in a shop yards away.

Julio explained to the court that he divorced his wife, and she had taken their daughter with her. The mom and daughter moved, and he couldn’t find them. When he saw the death report on the news, he hoped a place of residence would be given, but none appeared in the information.

The time came for Julio’s visit and for us to explain to Najera that her father had been found and her prayers answered. Julio carried his court order in hand when he entered the office, and Najera zoomed into his embrace. Tears flowed freely from everyone in the office. All my doubts vanished as I observed the father-daughter reunion. I thanked the Lord for answering the prayers of spunky Najera.

*Names have been changed.

The President is Coming?

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My relaxed evening came to an abrupt end when Carina, the school director, called. The conversation contained a combination of excitement and panic, stirring the same emotions in me.

“The president is coming here to Monjas? You mean the president of Guatemala?” I asked as I rose from the chair and started pacing.

“Yes, Mama Carroll, it is President Alvaro Colom, and he is coming in the morning for a visit to Monjas,” replied Carina. “The school superintendent just called to give me the information, and we have been ordered to have our girls do their gymnastics performance for him. I repeat, he ordered the girls to perform. He didn’t ask if we could. We need to be at Central Park by eight in the morning, ready to go.”

After some discussion, Carina accepted the responsibility of getting all of the kids to the appointed place. We didn’t want them to miss the opportunity to meet President Colom nor get on the bad side of the school superintendent. I remembered the excitement of the First Lady’s coming to Shadow of His Wings Orphanage, and now the president of Guatemala was arriving.

Flintstone PresentationThe month before this, the girls had won first place doing a gymnastic rendition of the Flintstones at the Department (State) level competition in Jalapa. From there, they went to Guatemala City for the National competition and took first place. The thrill of this honor for these children could not be summed up in a few words. To go from a condition of being abused to having hundreds of fans cheering you on resonated in all of our hearts.

When we returned from the Capital with the first-place trophy, we met a line of cars waiting to follow us into Monjas. People held signs of congratulations while standing by the highway, cheering the girls for a first-time achievement in this town. The excitement level radiated from the bus as the girls chanted, “Libertad, Libertad, Libertad!” The parade of cars behind the bus and the horns honking had people lining the streets waving. This was a thrill of a lifetime, and now the girls would perform for President Colom and add to that list.

By eight o’clock the next day, we had everyone from JPoLA waiting for the important guest at Central Park. The kids tittered and giggled in nervous anticipation of doing their gymnastics routine for the president. I had things flying around in my stomach, and I wasn’t even performing.

We talked amongst ourselves and decided that President Colom would come by helicopter, so our ears tuned in to any similar sounds. People gathered and waited, a common practice here where time doesn’t dictate when activities will begin. Restlessness became evident, and even the ice cream boy with his little cart quit ringing his bell. Finally, the mayor announced that the president would not be coming. However, he asked that the girls perform for those present. The girls loved to perform, and their disappointment didn’t change their enthusiasm. The pride I felt for them stretched my heart a little more, as I watched them go through the routine.

We waited through some speeches and then heard a helicopter. The mayor announced that a special visitor did come, the National Director of Education, and he asked the girls to repeat their routine for the director. Afterwards, the director mingled with the girls, asking about their educational experiences. Then he took a group photo with them. In their eyes, his personal interest captured their attention, and it didn’t matter that the president didn’t make it to Monjas.

I also had the opportunity to visit with the director, who spoke English, making it much easier to express the concerns I had for the education of the older girls in Monjas. I explained about the limited opportunities for careers in our area. He told me that he’d help with whatever he could, just give him a call. He demonstrated himself as someone on the same team for the same cause. We went from the president is coming to no he isn’t, but the Lord provided a more valuable connection for the needs of the Shadow kids.