Category Archives: abuse survivor

Caty’s Refuge

School Options

Darla France from Life Touch Ministries (http://www.lifetouchmin.org/) described trauma:“When a person witnesses or experiences an actual event where he feels threatened or hurt.” We had confirmation in Caty’s situation that she could not deal with the trauma she experienced and shut down part of her brain. So, where do we go from here?
My problem-solving went into overdrive. I pondered what Caty’s individual needs would include. I questioned how to obtain justice in her life when we had nothing to track those responsible for the abuses. It overwhelmed me, but the Lord graciously reminded me to trust Him with the plan for her life. But, unfortunately, my worrying didn’t bring anything positive to her situation.
“Oh, Lord, will I ever learn that You are the One with the answers for Caty?”
Joanne, the staff, and I discussed additional help for Caty. “We must keep her with us for as long as possible.”
“Let’s send her to our school with the girls just like they would with special needs students in the states,” said Joanne.
“We can check out other options while she’s occupied there,” I said.
We sent her with the girls, and I chuckled as I saw her strut and giggle as they walked the three blocks. Several self-appointed classmates stepped forward to help. The director and teachers at Liberty Christian School set up a program for her while looking at other possible services for Caty.
The social worker found a school for intellectually disabled children a short distance from San Cristobal. Joanne and I visited the facility and liked the plan they had for their students. I didn’t know how Caty would feel being away from her security, but we needed to test her response. It concerned me about her reaction to the transportation service available for the students. Would Caty refuse to leave with strangers?
The day the van came, she fell over her feet with eagerness and jumped into the back seat. I relaxed as we prayed for her and trusted that it would be a good day. All her actions hit on the positive. One more step toward learning how to cope with her disabilities. 
When the van returned that evening, Caty gave me her mulish look. “Chica mia, they will come and get you tomorrow, and then you can go to school again.” With pushing and shoving, we finally got her out of the van.
Within minutes the girls surrounded her with questions, and her pout turned to a smile.
“Did you like school?” 
“Was it fun?”
“What did you do, Caty?”
She giggled as her hip swung out in a pose of importance.
After a few days of school, Caty shuffled with her arm stuck back and out while her foot dragged. At mealtime, we saw her eating with her hands. Then it struck me that Caty imitated the children she spent the day with. She copied the behaviors of cognitively healthy girls, but now a different class of people modeled for her. Actions of regression did not go with our plan.
“Joanne, we can’t let this continue. So we are back to the beginning with her.”
“Let’s pull her out of the school and send her back to our school. She must stop this new behavior and continue imitating our girls.”
Disappointed, I crossed one more idea off the list of options for helping Caty to receive an education with her handicap.
We put Caty back into Liberty Christian School, and she settled in as if she had never left. Perhaps she went into her secret place while away from the Home. The foot-dragging stopped, as did other adverse actions.

Caty’s Refuge

THE INVESTIGATION

During the first several months, Caty spoke only a few simple words on rare occasions. One day she said, “Mama left, Mama left,” but didn’t say anything more. At times, Caty described “blood all over, dirty” to her caretakers with hand motions from the elbow to the wrist. She described a scene by crossing her arms in front of her and said it was “bad.” Caty told about a knife and slid her hand across her throat. Another story came out about a baby and a boy riding a bus. Caty mentioned a papa who had blood all over his arms and hands. She repeated the words of gory happenings, so we knew that something horrible had taken place with her watching or participating. We couldn’t come to any conclusions because of her limited speech and mentality. We speculated about her involvement in satanic rituals.
Caty had mental and physical issues that needed immediate attention. So we followed what we thought to be the obvious route of wisdom.
I first took Caty to a missionary dentist. After the exam, he said that her teeth indicated she was fourteen years old. We guessed she would be younger. I realized girls appeared smaller than their age when nutritionally deprived in early development.
A medical doctor’s exam verified that she had scars from physical abuse on various parts of her body. In addition, her stomach and pelvic area had marks of cigarette burns. Injuries from consistent sexual abuse were prevalent and would set anybody’s imagination into orbit.
The judge ordered testing by the children’s court psychologist. I hoped that this routine would disclose something about this mystery child. I went with Caty to assure her she wouldn’t be alone and followed the woman’s instructions doing the assessment. I led her to the room and thought it better to be out of sight. Caty sat slumped in the chair, her eyes looking downward and her bottom lip sticking out.
I’m sure the psychologist tried every trick she had to document some action, but Caty portrayed a frozen statue. Finally, the court official told me that Caty didn’t need to return for any more psychological appointments. Her parting comments included putting Caty in a mental institute as the best option for her.
No, Lord, she can’t go to one of those horrible places. Where is the justice? My heart sank. I had hoped that something would help unravel the mystery about Caty. But instead, I left the appointment with her, hand-in-hand, and with pain in my heart.
Part of the process of finding missing family members requires putting the child’s picture in the newspaper and on TV. Shadow of His Wings complied with this part of the investigation. First, we waited for answers to the missing person’s report. A word from somebody looking for Caty or who recognized her face, but nobody came forward.

In a city of 2.5 million people, how does one find the necessary information for one girl with no leads? Caty needed a name and birthdate for registration in the computer system. Since nobody responded to the publication of her picture, the judge gave a name and set her birthdate for the court’s records and documents. Up to this point, Caty didn’t exist.
Next, we arranged for Caty to meet with a brain specialist. Having a professional evaluate her brain function would undoubtedly shed some light on how we could help this young girl. I looked forward to this meeting with great anticipation.
While waiting for the neurologist’s exam, my thoughts went down many avenues as I watched this young girl. Who bore the responsibility for the damage done? Would Caty recover and be able to function normally? Is she locked up inside her head with the inability to communicate with us? Question after question came as I struggled within myself. Yet, we wanted to help her find her identity and come to healing.
After the exam, the doctor explained that Caty had a healthy brain, but not all of it was functioning. He said he had seen many cases like hers during his time as a doctor in Guatemala.
“These children are part of satanic rituals and subjected to horrible things that they can’t emotionally endure. So they escape by shutting down that part of their mind.”
I hung on to every word the doctor said, trying to grab hold of any helpful information. I never expected to hear him say, “In cases like this, the survival instinct is for protection, and a part of the brain turns off. That is simple layman language for what happens.”
“What can be done to help her?” I asked, pen in hand, to write down the recommendations.
“At this point, there is nothing you can do,”
“You don’t have any suggestions on how we can help Caty?” I said.
“There is an institute for the cognitive deficit run by the government. I recommend you put Caty in this place for her sake and that of your orphanage.”
I walked away from the meeting feeling like a door had slammed in my face. What would we do with a fourteen-year-old who needed the care as if Caty were four? What about justice for this child who became a victim of sinful and selfish people? Could her family, a mother or someone, be out there looking for her? A part of me wanted to protect her and keep her in the Home. Another aspect of me knew how difficult it would be to allow her to stay, but a mental institution would not be the answer. Caty deserved more in life. I felt like angry bees buzzed in my head.
I prayed as I drove back to the orphanage, “Lord, where do we go from here? Please show us the way. I don’t know how we can help her, but I know she didn’t come to us by accident. Help us to know the plan.”
Caty watched me with a grin. Excitement showed on her face because she got to go someplace in the car with Mama Carroll—a big treat in her eyes. I smiled back. There had to be a way to work all of this out. I trusted the Lord to bring us the answers.

Strange Girl

CHAPTER ONE
Strange Girl

Deep in the recesses of her mind, Caty found a refuge where she hid from the world around her. It’s a mystery how long she sought an escape, but it became her secret place with walls that allowed nobody to enter. Shadow of His Wings Orphanage personnel had no idea what adventure awaited with this strange girl.

It began late one evening; the police came to the orphanage with an odd-acting child. They gave us the court order for her to stay with us, a girl with no name. About twelve years old, her eyes darted around the room like a wild trapped animal. I took her into my arms as she quivered and whimpered. After minutes of softly spoken words, I could feel her heartbeat slowing down, but she clung harder to my arm.

With my prodding and the house mother’s gentle pulling, she went upstairs for the routine clean-up. During this time for new girls, there would be notes taken of any scars, wounds, or physical signs that would alert us to her past situation. We needed documentation for the court of possible abuses a child might have endured before coming to Shadow of His Wings. Colonies of lice in the hair required extermination with designated shampoo followed by a proper body scrubbing.

After the girl had gone upstairs with the house mother, the children gathered around me. “What’s her name?” Lorena asked. “Why is she acting weird?” asked Josselin. “Is she on drugs?”

My head buzzed with similar questions. Where did this child come from, and what was her story? How could we minister to what she needed? What if we can’t take care of her?

“Kids, we don’t have any information about her and no name. Maybe she will tell us when she feels safe. Meanwhile, show her love and encouragement; we are here to help her. She shouldn’t be alone, so I’m asking you to take turns staying with her.”

The next day, the court secretary said the police record showed this child suffered sexual and physical abuse. They received a call from a shady hotel asking for the removal of a girl. They found her in a room, alone in women’s black lingerie, crouching on the floor. Someone dressed her, and the police brought her to Shadow.

Without any identification or contact information, her lack of communication left us clueless about this child. The girls asked her what her name was, but the response of sounds didn’t make sense. Finally, after listening to what she did say, the girls decided she should be called Caty.

We thought intellectual disability described her state of mind because she would say a few words that made sense while chattering nonsense. Caty imitated the girls by repeating one or two words. When I looked at her, I couldn’t see the characteristics of Down Syndrome, so I didn’t think this to be her problem. However, we did know this child had suffered much, and we needed to find out how we could help her mentally, physically, and spiritually.

The Lord said He would give us wisdom when we needed it. “Dear Lord, please open the floodgates of knowledge so we can help this damaged child.”

Someone tossed this life into the trash, but Caty deserved justice, security, and love. The path I saw ahead of us went into unknown territory while the learning curve rose sharply. Where to begin became the number one question in our minds.